Talking to a Friend About Drug or Alcohol Use
It's difficult to know when to say something when you're worried about a friend's drug or alcohol use. Ask yourself...
How does it affect you?
How does it affect your friend?
The more times you answer yes, and the more frequently each factor is true, the more likely it is that your friend has a problem. A caring conversation can help your friend learn about how his or her behavior affects others and can help your friend get the help she/he needs.
Remember, needing help is not the same as being an alcoholic or an addict. Uncontrolled alcohol or drug use is not the only sign that someone needs help. Many people can stop whenever they choose, even for long periods of time. The important question is what happens to them when they drink or use drugs. Do they do things they regret later: get in fights, destroy property, drive under the influence, or have unplanned or unwanted sex?
There are many ways to help someone who's having trouble with alcohol or drugs. Some people just need the wake up call of your honest opinion; others can benefit from professional help to make changes in their behavior. Still others need professional help to maintain complete abstinence through rehabilitation programs and/or recovery programs. There's help to know which one is right for your friend.
How does it affect you?
- Have you ever had to take care of your friend because of her alcohol or drug use? Does it happen often?
- Have you ever felt embarrassed or hurt by something he said or did while intoxicated?
- Have you lost time from classes, studying, or a job in order to help your friend cope with problems caused by her drinking or drug use?
- Do you worry about your friend’s use on a regular basis?
How does it affect your friend?
- Does your friend drink in order to get drunk?
- Has your friend ever been unable to remember things she said or did while drinking (blacked out)?
- Has your friend ever received medical care for something related to drinking or drug use? Have you noticed a decline in personal health or appearance?
- Is your friend doing dangerous things because of drugs or alcohol?
- Has your friend ever wanted to cut down on drinking or drug use?
- Does your friend slam drinks?
- Does your friend ever drink to steady his nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
- Has your friend ever been in trouble because of drinking or drug use?
- Does your friend find it necessary to drink or get high in order to enjoy a party?
- Are drugs or alcohol affecting your friend's academic performance?
- Does your friend drink to escape from or to cope with problems or stress? Does she use drugs or alcohol to avoid painful feelings?
- Has your friend ever had a frightening experience with drugs but continued to use?
- Is your friend annoyed when people criticize his drinking?
- Does your friend drink or use drugs in an environment that you would rather avoid? Has there been a change in your friend's peer group?
- Does anyone in your friend's family drink to excess regularly? Do any close relatives have a drinking or drug problem?
The more times you answer yes, and the more frequently each factor is true, the more likely it is that your friend has a problem. A caring conversation can help your friend learn about how his or her behavior affects others and can help your friend get the help she/he needs.
Remember, needing help is not the same as being an alcoholic or an addict. Uncontrolled alcohol or drug use is not the only sign that someone needs help. Many people can stop whenever they choose, even for long periods of time. The important question is what happens to them when they drink or use drugs. Do they do things they regret later: get in fights, destroy property, drive under the influence, or have unplanned or unwanted sex?
There are many ways to help someone who's having trouble with alcohol or drugs. Some people just need the wake up call of your honest opinion; others can benefit from professional help to make changes in their behavior. Still others need professional help to maintain complete abstinence through rehabilitation programs and/or recovery programs. There's help to know which one is right for your friend.